


Long Buried Memories

by sunkelles



Series: Mirialan! Ezra [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Culturally significant tattoos, Don't Judge Him, F/F, Femslash, Mirialan! Ezra, Past Relationships, Space Aunt, Yes Ezra really just went to show off his cool tattoos to his space aunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezra's new facial tattoos dredge up memories that Ahsoka would rather leave forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Buried Memories

**Author's Note:**

> this is a coda of sorts to a fic called "rite of passage", but if you're just here for the barrissoka angst, then you probably don't need to read that to understand it. 
> 
> the gist of it is that ezra is mirialan and just got his tattoos. they look just like barriss's.

Ahsoka is ripped from her meditation by a knocking at her door, which is strange. Ahsoka almost never gets visitors. People com her for business purposes, and leave her alone otherwise. She gets up solely for the novelty of it, and opens the door.

“Ahsoka!” someone says before the door has completely opened.

The door opens fully, and her blood runs cold as she spots a green face coated in diamond tattoos that look a bit like freckles. Suddenly, she’s seventeen again, on trial for her girlfriend’s acts of terrorism, and finding out that Barriss was willing to let her die for her own crimes. She can feel the nauseating fear of execution and the sting of betrayal all over again.

It takes Ahsoka a moment to pull herself out of her memories, and remind herself that she’s not looking at Barriss Offee. She’s looking at Ezra Bridger, who looks both concerned and confused.

 _Oh Force,_ Ahsoka thinks. She must have let some of her emotional sandstorm show on her face.

“Ahsoka?” He asks, looking concerned, “are you alright?”

“Um, yeah,” Ahsoka says, trying to brush off her associations, “I’m fine, I just got distracted.”

“Alright,” Ezra says, “if you say so.” She’s emotionally unbalanced and a little bit disoriented, but she realizes that she can't exactly forgo mentioning the tattoos altogether.

“When did you get the tattoos?” She asks, cautiously. She wants to sound casually interested, but her voice comes out as a bit of a concerned squeak. Ezra notices, and grimaces.

“They look that bad?” he asks. He’s trying to frame it as a joke, but Ahsoka can tell that he’s concerned.

“No,” Ahsoka says quickly, knowing exactly how how much being self-conscious about facial tattoos can weigh down on a person, “they look great, Ezra.” When they were younger, she had to reassure Barriss fairly often that her tattoos looked good, and that they didn't pale in comparison to her master’s. She doesn't want Ezra to feel bad about himself simply because his new tattoos have dredged up memories she’d prefer to leave forgotten.

He looks slightly placated, but doesn't look completely satisfied with the answer. It certainly doesn't explain away Ahsoka’s initial reaction. “It just reminded me of someone I lost a long time ago,” Ahsoka says. She’s proud of herself for the words. While they are far from the whole truth, they aren’t exactly a lie either.

“Who was it?” Ezra asks.

“An old friend,” Ahsoka says, even though the words don't even begin to cover what she and Barriss were to each other, or what they ended up becoming, “we were Padawans together.” Ezra nods, a sad look passing over his face. Ahsoka doesn't know how much his master has told him about the fall of the Jedi Order, but he must know that almost no Jedi survived. He knows that this “friend” must be “dead”, and doesn't press any further.

“Ezra,” Ahsoka asks, suddenly remembering that they’re standing in her doorway because Ezra sought her out, “what was it that you wanted?” Ezra looks embarrassed at that, and she suspects that she’d be able to see him blush if he had a lighter complexion. Barris’s skin was just light enough for her to see a hint of a blush when they kissed.

“I actually just wanted to show you my tattoos,” he says, awkwardly toying with something on his belt.

“Of course you did,” she says, trying to make sure that it doesn't sound patronizing but understanding, “they mean that you’re an adult. Or a Padawan, sometimes.” Barriss had gotten them a year earlier than most Mirialans, because her master had taken her as a Padawan when she was thirteen. Ahsoka suspects that Ezra’s are more like Barriss’s, done by a master at an important time as opposed to a family member on their fourteenth birthday. She doesn't know how old Ezra is for sure, but she thinks it’s reasonable to assume that he didn't _just_ turn fourteen.

“You knew already?” he asks, sounding a little surprised. Most outsiders don't grasp the subtleties of Mirialan culture. _Sith_ , most Mirialans don’t even know everything about their culture. But Ahsoka was close friends with Barriss for three years, and dated her for one, and no one in the world was a bigger expert or stricter believer in their culture than Master Unduli. Whatever Barriss did not learn about her culture as a youngling she learned as a Padawan.

Sometimes, Ahsoka envied Barriss that. Anakin was a fantastic master, but he knew even less about Togruta culture than she did. But then Barriss would tell her about how she envied her for having a master who was so open with his affections, and Ahsoka didn't mind as much. She didn't know how she would have managed if her master had been as closed off from her as Master Unduli was from Barriss. She supposes that's part of the reason that Barriss fell. 

“Yeah,” she says, “that friend told me about it. She was Mirialan, too.” He looks even more embarrassed at the realization that he somehow let that information completely slip by him.

“Of course,” he says, sounding thoroughly embarrassed and a little blind-sided. 

“They look great, Ezra,” Ahsoka assures him again. No matter what Ahsoka associates with the particular markings, she can't deny that they fit him. 

“Thanks Ahsoka,” he says, smiling widely at her. He’s got the same facial markings and shade of eyes as Barriss, but aside from that, Ezra looks almost nothing like her. Barriss never smiled that widely, at least not for as long as Ahsoka had known her. She always seemed like the stress of the world was wearing her down, even in their happiest times.

Ahsoka doesn't know how she didn't see her fall coming, now that she looks back on it. 

“Thanks again, Ahsoka,” he says, turning to leave. Ezra turns away from her, and his blue-black hair bobs behind him because of the spring in his step. Ahsoka doesn't think that she has anything to worry about, truly. He’s happier and more hopeful than Barriss ever was, and his master is allowed to openly care for him. He’s allowed to have all of the attachments Barriss never was. In the end, Barriss ended up sealing herself off from all of the attachments that she ended up forging anyways.

Ahsoka knows that she need not worry, but the image of Ezra’s diamond markings still fills her mind. Hopefully, the design of his facial tattoos is the only similarity he will ever share with Barriss Offee.

**Author's Note:**

> someone wondered what the seventh sister would think of ezra's new tattoos, and i might write that as well. no promises though.


End file.
